The 30 Rock Top 13: Significant Others

By John Everett

This week’s Top 13 concentrates on those extra-special guest stars who’ve stuck around the TGS set as boyfriends/girlfriends to the main cast. 30 Rock‘s pedigree is on full display in its ability to get big name guest stars to make multiple appearances on a lowly-rated sitcom on the least-watched network in America.

Note: the rankings here reflect contribution to the show, not suitability as a significant other. I don’t think any of Liz’s partners (with the possible exception of her current squeeze Criss) would rate very high as relationship material.

13. Astronaut Mike Dexter

An American hero with a really cool job that just happens to keep him away from home and away from getting under Liz’s nerves all the time. He’s perfect for her. Too bad he doesn’t exist.

12. Bianca Donagy (Isabella Rossellini)

Jack’s “surprisingly age-appropriate” (per Liz) first wife appears in two first-season episodes of the show, including “Black Tie” in which she becomes extremely jealous of Liz, whom she assumes is Jack’s date.

11. Dr. Drew Baird (Jon Hamm)

The Mad Men star stops by as Liz’s neighbor-turned-boyfriend. Liz’s attraction turns sour when she realizes that Drew lives in a bubble based on his extreme handsomeness. His increasingly apparent stupidity doesn’t help either. Dr. Drew loses a hand waving from a helicopter to someone who looked like his old football coach, and later receives a transplant from a serial killer.

10. Nancy Donovan (Julieanne Moore)

Horrific Boston accent aside (I always thought it was part of the joke) Nancy Donovan was a nice addition to the show in that she softened corporate shark Jack Donagy and showed us the working-class Boston-Irish kid he once was. Nancy’s lack of pretension was refreshing.

9. Carol Channing (Matt Damon)

Damon is a big star, which makes his willingness to show up multiple times particularly impressive. Carol’s nearly-functional relationship with Liz allowed the show to get away from the “Liz can’t be happy” plot that was getting stale at the time, until of course her neuroses reared their ugly head on a frayed night on a stranded airplane. Ultimately, Liz and Carol were too similar to really work, even if they did both love it when Muppets presented at awards shows.

8. Wesley Snipes (Michael Sheen)

The Frost/Nixon star first meets Liz in the waiting room at the dentist’s office, where both are recovering from the effects of the gas. Liz entered in his phone number as “Future Husband” but soon grew weary of Wesley’s British twit routine, even as fate seemed determined to throw them together. Ultimately, Liz decides she wants more than a “settling soulmate.”

7. Paul L’Astname (Will Forte)

How do you humanize a character whose personality is defined by their egomania and need for attention? You give her a steady boyfriend who loves her as much as she loves herself. Forte’s Paul is just as obsessed with Jenna as she is herself, even performing as a drag version of her. Forte is incredibly game in the role, and somehow manages to ground a character who could so easily fly off the rails.

6. Elisa Padreira (Salma Hayek)

Hayek started as a home-health aide for Colleen Donagy, but soon started dating Jack, despite her misgivings about the ethics of the situation. Elisa brought about a lot of great story ideas for the show, including Mr. Templeton, where Jack and Elisa go on dates with her catatonic patient, and the classic Generalissimo, where Jack takes control of a telenovela to win over Elisa’s disapproving abuela.

5. Celeste Cunningham (Edie Falco)

True love knows no bounds, as proved when neo-conservative Jack falls for Falco’s C.C., a liberal Vermont Congresswoman leading a crusade against NBC”s parent company, Sheinhardt Wigs. The highlight of C.C.’s time on the show was Secrets and Lies, in which Jack takes some timely advice from James Carville and briefly saves the relationship.

4. Floyd DeBarber (Jason Sudeikis)

Floyd’s just the kind of laid-back nice guy Liz needs, so of course he’s already taken, by Other Liz, an accountant whom Liz Lemon goes power-mad trying to fire and get out of her way. Amazingly, Liz gets what she wants, only to lose Floyd to his first love, the city of Cleveland.

3. Angie Jordan (Sherri Shepherd)

Without Angie, there’s no Queen of Jordan. And I’d never have heard the way she says “Ham.”

2. Avery Jessup (Elizabeth Banks)

Banks’s entire career is enough to make you wish they still made ’30s-style screwball comedies. She was such a natural at the fast-paced banter and out-sized character traits that the show threw at her character. It was a shame when they had her kidnapped, even if it was just to work around the actress’s busy film schedule.

1. Dennis Duffy (Dean Winters)

Has anyone on 30 Rock inhabited their character as fully as Dean Winters has with the boorish, uncouth Dennis Duffy? As the ex whom Liz can never really seem to get rid of, Duffy is among the show’s most consistently funny creations. From his status as the Beeper King of New York to his later escapades as the Subway Hero, Dennis always delivers. He may have ruined Liz for other men, but he’s always a boon to whatever episode he’s in.